[Quotes] Funny, Hilarious Programming Quotes

Here are some of the funniest programming quotes I have come across. Enjoy, sit back and have a laugh.


“C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg”. -Bjarne Stroustrup


“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live”. - Martin Golding


“The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.” – Tom Cargill


“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.” – Mitch Ratcliffe


“If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.” – Edsger Dijkstra


“There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.” – Jeremy S. Anderson


“There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works”. - Alan J. Perlis


“It’s not a bug – it’s an undocumented feature”. –Anonymous


“A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street”. - Doug Linder


"The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late”. - Seymour Cray


“Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job”. - Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering


How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that is a hardware problem!


“Did you hear about that new branded MegaSuperComputer? It returns from an infinite loop just on 6 seconds!”


“To err is human but to really foul things up you need a computer.” - The Economist


“I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.” – Bjarne Stroustrup


"The more I C, the less I see."


"Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google."


"The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."


“Fast, good, cheap: pick any two”. –Anonymous


I hope you enjoyed those. If you have any others that you feel are good to share, please do so in the comments below.